Forever Love
by xxbeyondxbirthdayxx
Summary: hide, lead guitarist of the band X Japan, is dead after supposed suicide early this morning. He was 33." hide woke up in the evening, hearing these words of a journalist on TV. Suffocated by astonishment, he began to scream...


Hi, here's a quick note before you read !

This fic was written 9 years ago, in 2000. It may be hard to understand now, but back at that time, hide's memory was still very present.  
It also may be strange to read concerning the part of hide being a leader, but he really was. I remember the suicides after his death, the people not wanting to go on with their lives because he wasn't there anymore to lead the way to a life far from conformism, which is strong in Japan.

Well, just wanted to explain the background of the fic, which was meant to be a long community fanfic by several people who wanted hide to be alive and so had to write their own story, but I ended doing the one and only chapter, no one knew how to continue... sorry ! (that's why ~Unfinished~)

Sorry for the oh-so-common title...

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~ Forever Love ~

Music comes from a loudspeaker, some young persons gather on the Yokohama Arena square, a concert is being prepared on an improvised scene in front of the entrance doors. The young persons share whisky and gin bottles, cigarettes, with a doleful eye.  
Mourning hangs over the gathering, some girls cry together, holding each other's hand or arm.  
The first notes of the concert rise at the same time that a huge flag spreads on the Arena's front side : hide's face more than 3 meters wide.  
The band plays Forever Love in tribute to the one for whom they all gathered today, may 2nd, 2000.

He looks around him and shakes his head in a disapproval sign. His friend, next to him, knows perfectly what he thinks : all that was useless 

Two years earlier, after this washed-down evening, he went back home, then to bed and woke up the morning after by his friend. Without any souvenir of what could have happened   
Only an awful pain was grinding his neck and remembering him that he was alive, because his body and mind were caught in a swirl wavering between dream and reality.  
Getting out of his torpor little by little, he saw his friend bent over him, anxious. Painfully uttering, he asked him what had happened.  
Yoshiki answered : " You drank too much, as usual, but this time is the last time  "  
hide didn't understand, and fell in a refreshing sleep.

"hide, lead guitarist of the band X Japan, that splitted some months ago, has committed suicide early this morning at his home. He hasn't left any letter explaining his act. After having been found by a friend hung in his bedroom, he was driven at the hospital, but it was already too late."  
hide woke up in the evening, hearing these words of a journalist on TV. Suffocated by astonishment, he began to scream.  
Yoshiki hurried to him and explained :  
"I brought you from hospital this morning, they declared you dead because I paid them for that. The entire country thinks you're dead. I did it for your sake, you couldn't keep on that way.  
- Are you crazy Yoshiki ? I am alive ! How do you want me to act dead for millions of people ? And why ?  
- You're destroying yourself, don't you see it ? You're an alcoholic, you smoke far too much, you're going mad ! You need a break, you won't be able to bring your help to people nor even keep on making your music this way !  
I know that what I did is unbelievable, but that was the only solution. For them, you're dead, all has stopped, now you have to take care of yourself. I knew it needed something radical to make you stop, and after I saw you almost dead in this hospital bed, I took my decision, either I let you start to consume yourself again, either I take you off that by force.  
- But look at the TV ! They are all crying, they will organize my funerails, they will finally realize it !  
Yoshiki, you are insane !  
- hide-chan, you always trusted me, right ?  
- Yes "

The concert is at its height, but sadness can still be seen on faces. A young girl adorned with a black veil, a red rose in the hand, stares at the flag, moved.  
hide and Yoshiki are upset by this sight 

hide accepted what Yoshiki made of him, a Dead. Not for himself, but for this youth that had found a leader in him. Because he couldn't take the role forever. They had to take back the torch by themselves, not count on somebody's help anymore, free from their hangs-ups to guide themselves through the difficulties linked to the rules too strict that bridle them. hide didn't want to carry the hopes of the Japanese youth anymore, because sooner or later they would abandon if he would get to disappoint them.

The solution was radical, but it could work. A brutal loss would certainly bind them together and make them go forward.  
The first times, it seemed to work. During the funerails, the youngs, after the ceremony, had picked up the papers let by the present persons. They had left the place as clean as it was at their arrival.  
Hide had taken that for a step to maturity.  
But the illusion was short, the apogee of the Japanese youth's abandon was today in front of hide's eyes : these youngs still crying their idol two years after his death, a gathering full of sadness.

Yoshiki didn't understand what was happening in their mind. Why were they still crying him ? Of course, they loved him more than everything, they still loved him like a brother, for that he couldn't reproach them anything, but after all what hide left them, all what hide built up, how could they have given up ? Why hadn't they understood the message hide had transmitted so many times ? The society, the rules are too strict. To change that they had to keep on fighting, go forward on the open up road, and not go backyard ! How do they dare !  
hide was teeming of anger, of rage and helplessness. Yoshiki hadn't the time to catch him back, hide was heading right on the scene.  
He jumped among the musicians, took a micro and screamed, his angelic face unrecognisable :  
"You are only cowards ! Stop crying ! I'm ashamed of you ! I thought I had left you an other memory than the one of my death, I wanted to make you change but nothing has changed, you still are cowards, I wasn't there to shout your will of freedom for you anymore, so you just gave up !"  
hide fell on his knees, tears flowing from his distraught eyes staring at the crowd. The present people were freezed, unable to believe what they were seeing. This couldn't be him ! He was dead ! But this look, this face   
Suddenly a girl shouted : "You abandoned us !"  
hide stood up painfully, his face pale, tensed, and whispered in the micro : "It's you who abandoned me "  
He went down off the scene, fell in Yoshiki's arms who held him to suffocation, and broke down in cries  
Yoshiki cried too, feeling the pain of his friend nestled in his arms like a child. An angel without wings   
The youngs suddenly surrounded hide and Yoshiki, making a circle holding each other's hand, and began to sing Forever Love for the one they had never forgotten, and was given back to them. A girl came and said : "We have been egoistic, but this time we understood. You gave us everything, this time we are the ones who will give everything"

The big day has arrived. hide was nervous but happy. He hadn't drunk a single drop of alcohol for two years and was wondering how he could hold on today. He had always drunk a lot before lives  
Sugizo showed his head through the half-open door of hide's loundge, and asked him if he was ready.  
Despite of nervosity, he was ready, more than ready. This concert was the one of renewal, he would start in a new life again, surrounded for this happening by all his friends. Nothing was counting more than this new life, because he didn't carry somebody else's hopes anymore, but he would live for himself, do only what he wanted, without constraints, without pressure.  
The intro began, Sugizo bounced on the scene in front of Yoshiki hammering his drums like mad, Pata standing back, a happy smile on his lips, INA, Chirolyn and the others jumping of joy in front of an unchained public. Hide appeared like a swirl, going from one to another, teasing them, pushing them kindly, singing Pink Spider with emotion 

~ Unfinished ~


End file.
